How to deal with comparison?

To be honest, I am a competitive person who is afraid of losing out in any field of my life. Comparison contributed to most of the sadness in my life. Sometimes comparison motivated me to strive harder, but sometimes it really pushed me down to the abyss of despair.

Comparison is everywhere. Parents love to compare their children’s academic performances. Ladies love to compare their boyfriends’ financial statuses. Teens love to compare their body figures. Kids love to compare how many toys/devices they own. Trust me, comparison will never come to an end.

Do we really have to be the same as other people?

Comparison can be meaningless as we have different starting points, different talents, and different genes. Some people are gifted with wealth, beauty and intelligence, but it doesn’t mean that we are losers without having all of them. I would say that it is difficult to eliminate the thoughts of comparing but we can try to set our minds right to understand that we are not perfect in every way.


You should only compare when it is within your capability

I used to ask my boyfriend, why am I still studying in Uni like a nerd but my friends are travelling around the world and able to earn sufficient income to support themselves? His answer will be standard: We can’t compare this way, because we are still students. So, do not make meaningless comparison on something that are currently not achievable. (This reflects our current society’s issue: the overwhelming info from internet might affect our mood/thinking from day to day. People look great on social media but sometime it doesn’t reflect their real lives.)

Understand that you are better in your own way

Who doesn’t want to be a successful person? But, how many people in the world can be successful? Just like every competition, there is only one champion. How about those who didn’t get to be on the top? To be successful, luck and hard work contribute equally to it. We can work really hard but we can only pray hard for luck. Life is unfair, isn’t it? Everyone has different fate, we have to accept what we have and work hard to achieve greater heights.

Comparison doesn’t change your current situation, your move does.

There are days we feel extremely emotional, just by thinking about how lousy we are compared to other people. No worries, it is normal to doubt ourselves. But in the end of the day, we still have to move on with our lives, nobody is going to replace you. No matter how shitty your life currently is, just believe that it will be gone one day.

Your happiness should not only come from victory or success

I believe that we should treat success in a more neutral way. There are so many factors that contribute to success that are beyond our control. If your happiness only comes from being the top/being perfect/being better than others, you life is so…tiring. I believe that happiness is simple, but people are complicated. Our biggest enemy will be no one else but ourselves.

Remember, you’re better in your own way.

I would like to end this post with a quote:

Build your own personality by being yourself today. 

This article serves as a reminder for myself, to stop comparing!!!

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