another part of me .
i know , i didnt blog about whats happening to me for like soo long . maybe i’m just too busy with stuffs tht’s going on and happening to me . schedule are always very pack , i’m working like dayy , & i’m gone in the night . too much things are happening . i some sort of couldnt take the blow . people tht are close enough w me would have known / seen what is happening . i kind of lost myself for th past month . i’m starting to pick myself bits by bits . i stand and i fell again and again . things actually gotten better , but i ruined it again . it’s me . it’s my fault . tht day i fell again . i drank , i drank too much . really too much . but i’m fine , just suffering from hangovers . appetite starts to leave again . stomach are rejecting them bit by bit . it seriously sucks . i’m like suffering from D – and i got out of it . now i’m having another kind of feeling tht it will be back super soon . i’ve no idea how to control them . i’ve totally no idea . my body are alr reacting to it . i always remember what i told the girls , no no , dont work in such places , dont ever get drunk , dont this and dont tht . but tht day , i’ve no idea why will i suddenly broke down . i drank , i drank too much . & made him / them worried for me . i felt so disappointed in myself . really very very disappointed . i lost my mind . i wont drink anymore , i will pick myself up again . i really will . i guess , i just need more time . it’s really a v huge blow for me . i’m sorry to those people who are worried for me . give me more time to stand up again . i cant fall anymore , i really cant fall again . sorry if this post is so emotional , but i’ve no one tht i can really turn to for a heart to heart talk . i dont know who to trust . i dont have a really really good girlf tht i can pour my sorrows to . i know there are still people who still cares for me , i really appreciate it alot . thank you so much . really …. & i’m really v sorry .
& i’m sorry for breaking down today again . please dont ask me why , you people know i wont say .
there’s a part of me is still unwilling to face the reality . i cant stop hiding , i can never stop running .
i will blog again soon . no worries . still love you guys <3 !