Today, I was sending my boy to school and we were a little early. So I’d encouraged him to play with his classmates while waiting for the school doors to open. It started out fine until Asher begin jumping about and accidentally hit another kid with his hand. That kid then exaggerated the hit further by pretending to fall down and cry. I was perhaps the only one who had witnessed the whole turn of events. Unfortunately for my boy, the other adults present, made up mostly of overprotective grandmothers, decided that he had intentionally hit that kid. The boy’s grandmother then started cooing and coaxing the kid (who is older than Asher) to stop crying while telling Asher that he can’t hit the him. I was upset because Asher did not hit with intent. It was an accident, I then clarified and got Asher to apologize for the accidental smack. But I was disgusted by how they were all reacting to whole situation.
You see, when Asher falls, we tell him to get up and that it’s ok. When another kid shoves him, I do nothing but watch him from a distance. I look upon in amusement as the other parent panics while trying to get his/her kid to share the toy which Asher has his eye on as well. Am I doing this because I am a lazy mother? Maybe you think that I do not care about my child.
As long as he is not facing an imminent danger (or causing another child to face any danger) and I am near enough to step in should the situation deteriorate then I think it is fine to let him figure out things on his own. I want Asher to be independent. I want him to learn to stand his own ground. Is he going to let people push him around or will he stand firm? I know for sure that if I were to run to his rescue for every tiny little issue, he is going to hate me for it in the future.
Sure, Asher is only 2, but I am not going to sugarcoat his childhood. He has to face that the world is unfair, sometimes you simply don’t get what you want in life. And for now, it could be a fancy toy or that seriously tempting ice cream cone that another kid is holding on to. He will learn that people will manipulate others or scenarios to turn things into their favor. Today, it could be a kid pretending to fall to gain sympathy and attention. In the future, it could be a colleague feigning helplessness to get him to do all the work while gaining credit from the boss.
Seriously, your child is no delicate, fragile, little flower. Stop treating them like they will get damaged at every hit or bump, shove or kick. I do not condone bullying but at this young tender age, kids are just being kids. I’m sure they harbor no ill intention, at least I know for sure that Asher did not intended to hurt anyone.