Let’s face it, social media has enabled the ugly side of human beings to manifest further online. Like it’s not bad enough to be around these people in reality, you have to face them on the Internet too. Some of them are probably a combination of 2 or more of the below traits. Hey, who knows, I might happen to fall under some of the categories of which I would eternally despise myself for that.
#1 – The Dirty Laundry Lady
These are the women who have no qualms about sharing the most intimate details of their lives online. You know, these are the folks whom you might not know well in person but with that amount of information they are spewing online. You probably know their entire life story.
So yes we’ve heard, you caught your husband surfing porn for the 175th time. Oh wait, you didn’t just tag him in that rant status. And your in-laws hate you as much as you hate your husband’s guts. What? You earn double his salary and that makes him a pathetic lowlife. No wait, now you’d just lost your job. So is he having the last laugh? I guess it’s no surprise why he’d rather have sex with his right hand,eh?
Where’s your dignity, woman? Save the juicy details for your close friends over a cup of coffee OFFLINE. The whole online world doesn’t need to know that your marriage is on the rocks, your husband smokes too much or who pays for the baby’s milk and diapers because we honestly don’t give a damn.
#2 – The Whiner
There isn’t a day that goes by without her whining about something. The bus was 3.45 seconds late again today, she feels like no one understands her, why are all guys jerks, she hates meatballs… Every single status update is about how sick and sad her life is. You just simply can’t wait for her to just drive off a bridge and LIKE that last status update she writes before doing so.
#3 – The Braggart
She knows everything, conquered The Everest, won the Nobel prize and isn’t shy about letting the whole world know about it. Whenever someone asks for advice, she is there, not to offer help but rather flaunt the in-depth knowledge she has acquired mainly from mediating with the unicorn fairies in the fabled magical rainbow forest. Ok, we get it, you are smarter than ferrets.
#4 – The Selfie-hoe
Everywhere she goes, she uploads at least a dozen selfies on Facebook, of which 80% includes a duck face. Some days, your entire newsfeed is flooded with that face you wish you could smack so hard, it disappears from the surface of this earth. The selfie-hoe has attained the nirvana level of the camhoes. She has reached this level of no return and the only way to free your newsfeed from this perpetual terror is to unfollow her or hide all of her updates.
#5 – The Drama Queen
She is a combination of 2 or more of the above. When she isn’t updating her status with yet another whiny complaint or initimate details of her sick, sad life. She’s probably updating a new photo, yes, you guessed it, it’s a selfie! Wait, make it 10 selfies in a block of 43 seconds.
If not, it’s about how this disgusting guy who tried to pick her up in the bar when she had no make up and a bad hair day, wait till you hear about how he happens to resembles Ryan Gosling.
I’d say block this bitch immediately for the sake of your sanity. Or if you could then keep her in your friends list because it’s like watching TMZ on tv. She’s amusing and we could all do with some entertainment now and then.